Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
