i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
