also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Welp...herpes.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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