he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
