Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
