ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
