I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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