Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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