her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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