I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
