He kissed a someone with a penis
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
