so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
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