It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
