Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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