I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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