She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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