No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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