Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
