You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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