hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
