i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
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