I want to have your abortion
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
