I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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