11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
my being single is dangerous.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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