I should be sponsored by Trojan
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
