I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
