Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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