Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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