my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
