I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
