Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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