also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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