I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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