Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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