I showed him my bush... on skype.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
