saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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