I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
