I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
