what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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