yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
