Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
