im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
