return my video game
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
