he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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