everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
