Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
