yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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