Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
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