got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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