I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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