okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
